Not In That Way

Dear Diary,

Despite the billions of people across the globe, we are given a handful that we can turn to and be there for. They say that you can call a hundred people your friend, but there’s only really a few. Sometimes we get lucky with the people that come into our lives and that shouldn’t be taken for granted. There comes a point when you know the attention and time you are giving should be for someone else and that’s when the relationship is one sided.

Even being fully aware of this you still try. You think ‘This is a person worth remaining in my life’. So you set in motion the conversation that starts with a ‘Hi.’ and ends with ‘Nothing much.’ or it could end with everyone’s favourite ‘K’. You may meet or call and once that’s over it will only be another week or so until you hear anything. If you don’t you’re the one starting this cycle all over again.

Unfortunately it’s clear that they don’t feel the same way you do. As much as you give and not receive anything back that’s a sign. I mean it’s not like you’re nagging them, you just want to feel a balance. A SeeSaw doesn’t work with only one person. Weird connection but it’s true. All that time and attention you can now put towards on someone who shares that balance.

I would never say to write that person off completely. They may even surprise you one day, contacting you because they’ve come to a realization on what you can mean to them. Nothing is ever straightforward. If you give up on them completely then I guess that’s okay, it can be difficult and frustrating.

I will focus more on those in my inner circle and the others on the outer circle I won’t shut out either. I am aware that they are there.




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